


The Seven Deadly Almost People

by fullmetal anime (sunkelles)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Canon: Fullmetal Alchemist (2003), Character Study, Gen, POV Second Person, Poetry, So free form that it probably doesn't count, Trans Envy, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 02:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13940802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/fullmetal%20anime
Summary: The homunculi all want something





	The Seven Deadly Almost People

**Author's Note:**

> i accidentally started headcanoning 03 envy as a trans woman and so that's a thing here. 
> 
> also? i can't believe i came up with a cool sad backstory for gluttony? wild

1. 

 

 

Dante names you Greed. Greed wants. 

 

Dante made you to fulfill her needs, to be her little puppet. 

Lackey.

Sex toy. 

Replacement for Hohenheim. 

Whatever else a homunculus can do that she hasn't drilled into you yet. The thing is, though, you are Greed. You aren't so easily controlled. 

 

Greed wants everything. That's the nature of the word- the nature of _you._  

Greed wants money, and power, and, gold and sex and lovers and friends and accolades. Greed wants everything the world has to give.

You weren't content as Dante's puppet. She gave you a name and expected you to stay beholden to her. 

She was sorely mistaken. You might be fake, but your feelings are real. Your _greed_ is real. 

You want everything. Dante should have known you'd want more than being a lackey. She should have known you would betray her. But then again, she's able to lock you up anyway. 

Maybe you're the one that should have seen that coming. 

 

You spend years in the dark, waiting. And then you finally claw your way out. You rebuild your life, getting everything you can. You find what you love and you cling to it as tight as you can. 

You try to stay as far from Dante and her homunculi as you can. They don't care what you want, they want you to fall in line or fall to the ground dead. 

But you can't avoid them, not forever, not even for long. Especially not when they're not your only foe.

You yearn to breathe free. If death is the only way to achieve that, you can handle that. 

You throw a human remains shaped wrench in their plans and then accept your fate. 

Greed wants everything, and you want freedom. Freedom or death are the only options. You've always wanted it all, right? 

Or? Make it _and._

You will have freedom _and_ death. Two for the price of one. 

 

Greed wants. It's as simple as that. 

 

 

2. 

 

 

 

Dante names you Gluttony. Gluttony wants. 

 

You want Lust and you want to eat. You're a simple homunculus with simple needs. That's all there is- on the surface at least. 

You might be simple, but you're not incomplete. At least, not anymore than the rest. 

You're as almost human a homunculus as the rest of them. 

 

You were born. You saw. Now, you suffer. 

 

You remember being born, better than any memory you have of being alive. Those are vague things, hazy images of hugs and far-off sounds of laughter.

Being born is vivid. 

Being born is complete. 

Being born is a terror all its own. 

 

Whatever you were before dies, and Gluttony opens its eyes. 

A girl stands over you, brown eyes wet with tears. 

"Brother," she sobs, "please- please-" She clutches your melted mass of flesh. She doesn't look disgusted as much as devastated, holding your body to her chest like a child holds a favorite blanket. You don't know who she is, though you know she cares for you. 

You can tell you care for her too. 

You are confused. 

Your arm moves of its own accord. 

You are hungry. 

"Brother?" She asks, a look of excitement on her face, "You moved? You moved!" You did move, but you were confused. You didn't move it. 

"Please," she says, looking deep into your eyes, "do that again. I need to know you're in there." Your arm moves again, of its own accord. 

"Brother!" She squeals. She hugs you tightly, and the world around you shifts. You're disoriented- you're dizzy- you're starving. 

Most of all, you are desperate. Your starving, broken body moves on its own accord. You swallow her up whole and cry the whole night long.

 

Then Dante found you- named you- took you in and gave you a purpose. Lust, however, actually seemed to care. 

"It's alright big guy," Lust says, and it sounds like "it's alright, brother" and for a moment, you don't feel so empty. But then, the spell is broken and you are guilty and you are grieving and you are Gluttony. 

You want, desperately, to forget. There is a hole inside you that you have to fill, and you will eat and eat until you stop feeling so empty. 

 

Gluttony wants. It's as simple as that. 

 

 

3. 

 

 

Dante names you Pride. Pride wants. 

 

Pride wants to be respected. 

You want status. 

You want a family. 

You want to be human, in a sense. 

You're not sure you want to be human the way that Lust does, but you want to appear so. If only to prove that you can.  

You want to prove the world wrong, to feed the ego being fuhrer has given you. 

In the end you don't prove much at all, except that you can kill and be killed. 

Your ego withers and dies along with your body, but you still want. You want all those things that you once had and all of things you never did. And you want the world to watch on and be jealous of you and what you have. You don't get it, but it doesn't stop you from wanting. 

 

Pride wants. It's as simple as that. 

 

 

4. 

 

 

 

Dante names you Wrath. Wrath wants. 

Wrath has had nothing for so long. Now that he's awake, he wants everything. 

He wants a mother. 

He wants a place in the world. 

He finds a place in the world. He finds a mother. Maybe he's even found a real body. 

Then the Elrics kill her and walk away with the body that he wants for himself. 

He even loses his arm and leg.

He wants and wants and wants, but no matter how long he lives he knows he'll never really get it. There isn't a place in this world for someone like him. 

So instead, he decides to die. He's angry and he's hurting and he wants some control over his story, so that's what he does. He seizes the story and lets his anger save the day. 

Wrath wants. It's as simple as that. 

 

 

5.

 

 

Your mother names you Envy. Envy wants. 

 

Father makes you but mother names you.

Renames you. 

It's all very confusing. 

You remember father looking down at you, a horrified look on his face. You remember laying there in agony, clawing your way away. You remember your mother finding you, feeding you red stones until you finally got your fill. Still, now is the first time you've felt  _conscious_ since whatever changed you. 

 

"Mother?" 

"You're not my son, you're a homunculus," Dante says. It's matter-of-fact and detached, the way that your mother often is. She can't be fucked to care about you, even when you're desperate and confused. Figures. You haven't had a stellar relationship with either of your parents. 

"A what?" You ask. You're still so confused. You don't feel like either of those words describe you. 

"A fake person, a copy," Dante elaborates, "Hohenheim made you to replace our dead son. I told him it wouldn't work, but he wouldn't listen." You feel a little woozy. 

Made you? What does that mean? You look down at the form you have now, and realize it's different than your hazy memories. More feminine. More fitting.  

"Strange form you chose there," Dante says. You know you didn't have this body in the bits of memories you have, but you feel like you should have. You feel like this is what you're supposed to be. 

"Yeah," you say. You don't know what else to. 

"You almost look like a woman," Dante scoffs. 

"So what if I am one?" growls a distinctly feminine voice.

Feminine voice, feminine body. It all feels so much more right. 

You never felt at home in that old body, hearing them call you son and he and man. 

A woman's voice leaves your mouth, and you realize this is where the green pit in the bottom of your soul started. 

You envied the women around you for being recognized as what they were. 

What you were. 

What you _are_. 

"Be a girl then, Envy, what do I care," Dante drawls. 

"What do you care? I'm your daughter," you spit. 

"You are not my child," Dante says, rolling her eyes, "you are a homunculus." 

Dante was never a loving mother- never a soft mother. You suppose you shouldn't have expected better from her. Any gentle affection you had was from Hohenheim. 

 

Hohenheim created you, and Hohenheim abandoned you. 

Hohenheim left you, a pained mess of flesh on the ground. He left you to rot and to die. 

He was _supposed_ to love you. 

 

Dante's not a mother, not really, but she took you in and made you whole again. Gave you a name, gave you the tools to get your revenge. 

She called you a homunculus, but really, that's better than son. 

Homulculus isn't feminine, but it's not masculine either. Better to meet in the middle than have the wrong word entirely. You suppose you aren't really going to get anything you want. You're just going to have to settle. 

You wanted to be loved, but it's too late for that now. 

Instead, you'll fight to make Hohenheim's life hell. Your resolve triples- quadruples- quintuples after he settles down and has two perfect blond sons. 

You want the family those stupid blond boys have, but you know you can't have it. 

Instead you chose to make them and their father (not your never yours) pay. 

You want to make them pay because you want what you can't have. 

 

Envy wants. It's as simple as that. 

 

 

6. 

 

 

 

Dante names you Lust. Lust wants. 

 

The moment you are born, before Dante found you- named you- you wanted. 

You looked up from the ground, hideous mound of flesh, and you saw the man you knew you loved. 

You watched his disgust, his terror, 

and you watched as he realized his error. 

 

He left your mangled body on the ground, seething with pain, desperate with longing. 

You were the huddled masses desperate to be loved. 

Dante didn't bring you love, but she brought you a name. She brought you a promise. 

Serve me, and I will make you human, she promised.  

 

You want to be human, to feel those things you can only barely remember. 

The warmth on your skin, the feel of another hand in yours, a kiss to your forehead, the love of a man you adored. 

You want to feel that again and forget the look of terror and shame. You want to be human again, not just Dante's homunculus. 

Not just her tool. 

 

You feel it, that desperate feeling in your gut, 

An emptiness inside. 

You all feel it. 

The seven homunculi yearning to breathe free. 

But you, Lust, you feel it the most. 

You feel it so strongly you can see through Dante.

 

She wants to use you as tools, 

Has taken you all for fools. 

But you can see through this, and you want more.

You want to be human, no matter the cost. 

 

You lust for it deep in your soul. 

 

So you turn against her, and it doesn't end well. You are still just a homunculus in a sea of homunculi as desperate as you. 

Wrath is happy enough to cut you down. 

In the end, it's humanity or death. But perhaps that's the closest you will ever get to humanity. 

Humanity and death. The things always go hand in hand in the end. 

 

Lust wants. It's as simple as that. 

 

 

7. 

 

 

 

Dante names you Sloth. Sloth does _not_ want. 

The others want. All their sins are active forces. 

They have wants, are consumed by them, but Sloth does not. 

Sloth is a sin of idleness- a sin of not wanting. 

Sloth is muscles atrophying on the couch. 

Sloth is sons, raising themselves, as a father leaves them in the dust. 

Sloth is you and all the things you never wanted to be. 

Sloth is all the memories you have and never asked for, all the feelings you don't know what to do with. 

Sloth is your feelings towards two boys who aren't your sons- can't be- because you never wanted them in the first place. 

You never asked for this, to be born half-formed and hungry. To be born somewhere between not caring and caring too much, to just go along with what you were told because you don't care enough not to. 

You never asked for those two boys to look at you the way they do, like you're something hideous and beautiful all at once. Like you're their sin to bury, their damsel to save. All you've ever wanted is for it all to stop. 

 

You just want to be done with all of this. 

 

A phrase echoes through your brain, perhaps something you heard on a radio program. 

_I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it._

Maybe you were their mother, maybe you weren't. But Edward Elric brought you into this world, and now he's taking you out of it. It seems like a fitting end, the son you never wanted taking the life you never really had.

You tell them to take care of each other, and maybe it's the memories of Trisha Elric or maybe it's something deep within you, but at that moment, you _do_ care. You care deeply. 

 

In that moment, Sloth wanted. Maybe, you wanted all along. 


End file.
